Recently, a new idea came to mind, and I directed an AI to help me with some research. It felt quite solid, a bit of "low hanging fruit." I wasn't sure if I should dive in myself later to take the credit, but it was already Friday afternoon. I hurriedly closed my laptop, packed my bags, and headed for Hawaii.
As it turns out, one shouldn't make decisions in a rush. The frantic scramble before leaving resulted in the Z-Wave and Zigbee USB gateways at home being accidentally nudged loose. The consequence: while I'm on the other side of the ocean, the smart lighting automation at home has completely paralyzed.
Part 1. Big Island
✈️ A Shaky Start Full of Gripes
I met up with my wife and took a cab to the airport. The driver was an Indian fellow who looked like he could be from Canada; he drove very conservatively. The 405 was packed on Friday afternoon, and I eventually had to act as a human navigator, urging him to cut into the HOV lane.
The flight was a long five-plus hours. I bought an $8 Starlink connection to try it out. All I can say is, for a company with a $1.7 trillion market cap, this satellite network is quite unstable (though the peak speeds are okay). Compared to Delta's free Wi-Fi that glides over land, it's hardly a fair comparison out over the ocean.
Landing, renting a car—the agency gave us a beat-up Nissan with nearly 40,000 miles on it. By the time we scrambled to the hotel on the Big Island, it was almost 11 PM (3 AM Seattle time). Because we arrived so late, the front desk had long since closed for the day.
🏨 Condo Resorts and the Tug-of-War over "Hidden Fees"
When I woke up the next day to pick up the keys, I was told I had to pay an additional $118 cleaning fee. This is the most disgusting part of the US tourism industry—hidden fees under various names. I clearly remembered the booking stated "All Fees Included." Refusing to bow to consumerism, I turned around and complained to Capital One, eventually successfully clawing back a $200 credit.
Hidden fees aside, this randomly chosen Condo Resort wasn't actually half bad. The building was old, but the unit was spacious, well-decorated, and clean enough. I spent the afternoon lounging by the sea and swimming. It was sunny in the morning and rainy in the afternoon; in a bit of a haze, the first day on the Big Island passed by.
🌋 Volcanoes National Park: Nature’s Hardcore Bonsai
Early on the third day, I boiled 8 eggs as provisions, checked out, and headed straight for Volcanoes National Park.
- Thurston Lava Tube: Currently under maintenance. I walked around a bit, but it felt much of a muchness and wasn't very interesting.
- Kilauea Iki Trail: This trail leads all the way down to the bottom of the crater. Although this crater has long since cooled, stepping on the hard, wrinkled volcanic rock floor still lets you feel the power that once surged through the Earth's crust. From the cracks in the desolate black rock, a unique plant called Ōhiʻa Lehua grows tenaciously, blooming with clusters of red, fuzzy flowers.
- Chain of Craters Road: This road winds down for forty or fifty kilometers, passing one massive crater after another. We drove almost to the coastal cliffs, took a look at the crashing waves, and turned back.
Finally, we switched to the west line, and there we saw the imagery that truly matched our imagination: a steam vent constantly emitting white smoke, and a massive active crater that, while not erupting today, was steadily billowing smoke.
🐸 The 100-Decibel "Real Estate Killer"
In the evening, we drove to Hilo in the north for dinner. I had a plate of pasta, picked up a local papaya from the supermarket, and paid my respects to the statue of King Kamehameha of the Kingdom of Hawaii.
On the road, I heard an extremely eerie and loud chirping sound. Curious, I checked my phone and was profoundly shocked. This thing wasn't a bird at all, but a Coqui Frog. Apparently, it's an invasive species that has swarmed parts of Hawaii, reaching densities of up to ten thousand per acre. At night, their calls can hit 100 decibels. This horrific noise directly turns the surrounding environment into mental pollution, even causing nearby property values to drop. Nowadays, they are loathed by everyone on the island.
Part 2. Oahu
✈️ Inter-Island
Saying goodbye to the Big Island, we made a stop at Costco. I wanted to see if there were any new gadgets, but found that Costcos nationwide are much the same, just with a few more local snacks. Then we went to a nearby national historical park and beach that was extremely exposed to the sun; the seawater washed over the black volcanic rocks, and you could clearly see small fish, shrimp, and crabs inside, which was quite interesting.
I gassed up the rental at Costco, grabbed a slice of pizza to fill my stomach, returned the car, and flew to Honolulu.
Arriving on Oahu, we switched to a small Mitsubishi. This time, we stayed at Wayfinder for 4 days, and then at the Marriott for the final day. The Wayfinder hotel really took "nickel-and-diming" to the extreme. Despite having two reservations, they only gave one $100 hotel credit, and parking here costs $45 a day. I spent the evening arguing with Chase customer service on the phone, only to be shut down by a "minor hidden clause." Had I known, I really should have moved that one day at the Marriott to the middle of the trip.
🚢 The Weight of Pearl Harbor and "People-Watching" at Waikiki
I went to bed early the night before and woke up naturally at 6 AM.
After breakfast, we drove to Pearl Harbor. I didn't have high hopes for the wait, but luck was on our side, and an hour later we successfully boarded the ferry to visit the USS Arizona Memorial. It's a white structure spanning the wreck; you can still see the ship's remaining smokestack on the water, and the hull is still slowly seeping "Tears of the Arizona" (fuel oil) to this day.
In the afternoon, we hiked Diamond Head. From the summit, we overlooked the entire Waikiki coastline. On the way back down, my keen eyes caught a street parking spot that was free—to save that $45 a day parking fee, I decided to park there for the night.
In the evening, we had Cantonese food in Waikiki. The food was oily and truly expensive. When checking out, the system automatically added an 18% tip (though I usually give that much anyway, being forced just feels wrong), and even more ridiculous was an extra 3% fee for using a credit card. They really aren't kidding when they say they "pluck every feather" from tourists.
After dinner, we went for a stroll by the sea to digest. Waikiki beach was packed, so dense it really looked like "boiling dumplings" in a pot. Because I was always worried about that free parking spot, I made sure to drive by and check on it before returning to the hotel. Those few dozen bucks were not easy to save.
⛩️ Byodo-In Temple, Zhang Xueliang, and the "Upsized Bonsai"
The next day we intended to go to the botanical garden but were met with a closed gate, so we detoured to the Byodo-In Temple on the windward coast.
This is a 1:1 replica of the Byodo-In Buddhist temple in Uji, Japan. The grounds are actually quite ordinary, mostly just feeding koi and birds. But what's fascinating is that the temple is surrounded by a vast expanse of lush green cemetery lawns. Not far from the temple entrance lies the joint grave of legendary figures from the history of the Republic of China—Zhang Xueliang and Zhao Yidi. Standing before the grave and learning about the history, I couldn't help but feel some emotion. After being under house arrest for most of his life following the Xi'an Incident, he finally gained freedom, only to rest forever beneath the greenery of this isolated Pacific island—a mix of frustration and legend that's hard to put into words.
Next, we went to Kualoa Ranch (the filming location for Jurassic Park). It's basically a standard tourist trap, with signs for movie locations everywhere; it gets boring after a while. Instead, the iconic mountains nearby were very interesting—the terrain is extremely steep, looking as if it were carved by axes, with rock walls covered in thick vegetation, like an upsized version of a green bonsai. This also illustrates how incredible the rainfall is on this windward slope.
The funniest episode of the day: after returning in the evening to find free parking, I circled the neighborhood for a full half-hour. I had seen two empty spots early on, but out of greed, I wanted to find one even closer. There were no closer spots, and when I tried to go back to the original ones, I found they were both gone, so I had to circle for quite a while longer before finally parking.
🚓 A Major Joint Enforcement Scene of Police and Tow Trucks
On Friday morning after breakfast, I deliberately walked to the window at 8:29 to watch the spectacle—to see how those cars parked illegally on the street the night before and hadn't been moved in time were handled. As soon as the clock struck, several police cars and tow trucks came roaring in with lights flashing. The tow truck drivers first scouted for which cars were easier to tow, and the police skillfully slapped on the small yellow stickers. To put it dramatically, it was like an action sequence from a cop movie, as if the citywide coordination was all for this "guaranteed profit" business early every morning.
🍍 The Decline of the Dole Pineapple Empire
Then we caught the northern botanical garden we missed the day before. The scenery was still those "upsized bonsais" (which are actually quite beautiful), but after a walk, aesthetic fatigue set in. For lunch, I had a very generous portion of pan-fried fish over rice. The northern beaches are significantly cleaner than Waikiki—fewer people, clearer water, but the UV rays could peel your skin off.
In the afternoon, we went to the famous Dole Plantation. The grounds basically no longer serve any agricultural industrial function; it's become purely a tourist photo spot. We took a vintage train around the farm, and the surrounding fields looked a bit dilapidated.
The world's largest plant maze on site had too many opportunities for cheating due to long-term lack of pruning and maintenance. For the birthplace of the once-famed Dole, for it to decline into this state is a perfect microcosm of American de-industrialization on a Pacific island.
On the way back, gas at Costco was only $4.50/gallon.
Epilogue
On the last day, we moved our luggage to the Marriott. Although we could check in early without issue, there were no upgrades. Since the $100 credit still couldn't be used for parking, my little Mitsubishi continued to spend the night on the streets to avoid being "plucked" again.
Driving southeast around the island, I realized halfway that I hadn't taken my goggles and made a point to double back for them. As it turned out, because the sun was just too large and intense, we didn't even get in the water, so getting the goggles was for nothing. We went to the Premium Outlets intending to do some shopping; having always worn Nike, I bought two pairs of discounted Adidas for the first time. My first impression upon putting them on: why are these shoes a bit heavy? but for the discount, so be it.
On the morning of our return, it finally rained in Hawaii. When I went to get the car, I found that the brilliant parking spot I had chosen under a streetlight the night before had suffered a "dimensional strike"—birds had perched on the light, and several huge loads of poop had been dropped on the roof and windshield.
I gassed up one last time at Costco ($4.59/gal), bought some local Hawaiian beef jerky, and headed for the airport. I missed a turn at the airport junction and circled for a long time, making the timing very tight. Going through security, I forgot to empty the water in my bag; I was heartlessly asked to go out, empty the water, and re-queue for security. Before boarding, I bought two extremely ordinary bento boxes at the airport for a whopping $35. The "plucking" of tourists continued right up to the last second before takeoff.
Sitting on the return flight now, this time it's Hawaiian Airlines with free Starlink internet. I have to gripe—didn't Alaska and Hawaiian Airlines merge? Why did they charge me $8 last time?
Looking at the clouds outside the window, I suddenly thought about the "workhorse" days of scrambling for a living starting tomorrow, and a sense of sorrow washed over me.
Hawaii is great. Next time I come, I hope it won't involve so much "wits and maneuvers."